CSI: Hyrule
by skittles88
Summary: Navi is found dead, and Link takes the role of Private Eye to find the killer. Our greenclad hero relives his original quest to interview the familiar faces and uncover the truth. Zelda Murder Mystery. Based on Ocarina, some Majora and Twilight reference.
1. Something's Missing

_To summarize: Link is the First-Person Narrator, adventurer-turned-private-eye. Hilarity will ensue. Funny nicknames will not be ignored, and the word "dame" will be in abundance._

_Which leaves the question: "Why? Why did you have to go and write this drivel?"_

_Because I wanted to kill Navi. Badly. So badly it hurt at night._

_LOL I'm trying to pick up the "Detective" diction, can you tell?_

_Please enjoy this! I'll mostly be using the Ocarina plotline, but I'll throw in some other references as well, maybe some of the characters if they work. Try and figure out who dunnit, but FOR THE LOVE OFCAKE don't expect me to answer you when you say in your review "It's Ganondorf in the Kitchen with the Candlestick, right?! AM I RIGHT? I KNOW I'M RIGHT! AM I?!" _

_Don't work like that, you hear?_

_Happy Reading!_

---

10:00, Kokiri Woods. Link's House.

I had a good sleep last night, strangely enough. No dreams, no waking up from Navi's constant tingling, no nothing. It was a weird feeling…

Something was wrong. Something was terribly, horribly wrong.

I sat up from my bed, waiting for the usual "Hey Link, listen," to assault my eardrums. Not a word. The Kokiri outside were going about their daily non-activity, ol' Bessie in the corner was munching on hay, but no flutter of wings, no "Hey!", no sign of my partner anywhere...

Oh, Farore. She's gone.

I walked over to the desk, scanning its surface for a note, a grocery list, anything that would tell me where my fairy was. My trusty Lens of Truth, Ganondorf's mug shot, a dungeon map (I had long since forgotten which one) and other junk cluttered my desk, but no sign as to Navi's whereabouts.

But I mustn't get my hopes up.

From the desk, I looked up to the mirror. A whole month and I still give myself a heart-attack when I see a 10-year-old face staring back at me. It's unnerving. Those of you who've traveled through time know what I mean. I have to wait a full seven years before I can use my Mirror Shield again. And don't even get me started on my tunics: they're hanging up on the wall, all cleaned up and no where to go. I can almost hear them mocking me. "OOH, Link! Wanna go swim underwater? Hope you have a snorkel!" "OOH! Watch out, Link! Don't be getting too close to that fire! You might burn yourself!" Call me crazy, if you want; you've never had a talking bird for a hat before.

I emerged from my house, into the sunlight of the late morning. Kokiri Forest hadn't changed at all since my previous endeavour. I suppose that would make sense; a Kokiri isn't one to enjoy change. Not like me. A day without change is like getting the Hover Boots; sure, the IDEA sounds wicked awesome, but after you try it for five minutes, it's just a huge, boring pain.

"LINK! LINK!" A high-pitched voice broke me from my reflection. I looked down to see the worried face of one of the Kokiri twins. "Link! Come quick!" She paused before managing to choke out, "It's Navi!"

I groaned. I should've known she wouldn't have just up and gone away. She was far too persistent for that. I descended the ladder and moved into a light jog to keep up with the girl. Running without my gear proved extremely easy (and not to mention much quieter); I made a mental note to reduce my carry-on luggage for any future quests.

I was lead into the Lost Woods. As the usual catchy tune echoed into my ears, the temptation to break out into dance was almost overwhelming. But now was not the time to embrace my inner Goron; the dame in front of me seemed too worried for this to be any ordinary fairy problem.

We followed the sound of the music, reaching at last one of the many intersections that made up the woods. This particular one was neighbouring the shortcut to the Zora River, and was just beyond the gate that lead to Goron Village. I paused, wondering why we had stopped in an obviously empty square. It was then I heard the sob of the girl beside me. Following her gaze, my eyes widened.

There, on the ground, lay a small sphere of blue light, the once lively glow now diminished. While the wings were missing, I knew it was her. Having travelled so long with her, I would recognise that face (or lack thereof) in any Fairy Fountain.

As I gazed onto the dead body of Navi, I was of two distinct minds, yet my goal was but one. I swore to find the perpetrator who committed this unforgivable act and bring him to justice...

...and to find what bastard had denied me the pleasure of doing it myself.


	2. Pre Journey Reflection

12:00, Kokiri Forest

I strapped my Hylian Shield onto my back, fitting over my scabbard and resting into the almost natural groove it had long since carved into my shoulder. Picking up my Lens of Truth, I stowed it behind my shield, knowing it would come back out the moment I needed it. I reached into the drawer for my trusty boomerang- only to find that it was gone.

I swore. I had completely forgotten that I'd returned everything I had "borrowed" on my previous adventure. The Lens of Truth only stayed with me due to the… sudden and mysterious re-filling of the Kakariko well, due to a five-second downpour that had developed out of nowhere.

One exploration of that well was enough, in my opinion. Besides, I had simply been repaying my debt to Guru, who had been in constant therapy since our last meeting in the windmill. Navi still refuses to accept my-

I shook my head. Still, thoughts of her clung to me like a pursuing Keese. After contemplating for an hour or so after seeing the body, I decided that her death wasn't the cause for celebration I had once thought it would be. No, instead, she left me feeling tense, scared, and above all, alone. No dame had played such a part in my life before, and her death would not go ignored. It would, instead, mark the beginning of my new adventure, not as the Hero of Time, but as Link: Private Eye.

I walked out of my house, having taped my makeshift paper badge to my tunic. My first destination; Lon Lon Ranch. Before beginning my investigation, I'd need a faster mode of transportation than my own two feet; I couldn't be spending days at a time just crossing Hyrule Field…

And, realising something (and swearing again), I took out my brand new note-pad and wrote a quick reminder:

"_When you can remember how all the songs go, WRITE THEM DOWN SO YOU DON'T FORGET AGAIN!_"

And so began Legend of Zelda: Crime Scene Investigation, Hyrule.

_---_

_The well scared me. I booked it out of there so fast, I'm pretty sure I missed at least 200 rupees worth of chests. Shudder  
For those of you wondering how he managed to return the spells, he didn't. I don't think they were meant to be seen as a physical object, so unless he forgot them too…_

_---_

Following a sudden gut instinct, I also wrote down the arm movements and names of my spells, just in case my senior moments had a relapse. You'd think I'd stop having those in my younger persona.

---

_You heard the man. He still has the spells. Thank God. I'm pretty sure the warps in the boss rooms have expiry dates, so Farore's Wind is going to be a blessing… As for whether or not he'll have the songs from Majora's Mask… maybe if they're convenient._

_Also, don't expect TOO much from Wind Waker and the like. Because, as we all know, those bring shame to the name of Link._

_And shame to Zoras, too. Anybody else think that Zoras are the Kenny's of Zelda? They die/don't exist in nearly every game!!_

_OMG, YOU KILLED THE ZORAS!_

_YOU GENOCIDAL BASTARDS!_

_Sorry, long rant. Happy Reading!_


	3. Long Awaited Revenge

13:00, Kokiri Forest

Tip #3 from my Bomber's Detective Notebook: _Routine and in-depth searches are necessary for uncovering new evidence! Don't neglect your #1 source of evidence!_

I figured I'd need to organise some sort of investigatory squad to check out the crime scene while I was away. I can't do everything myself. Heck, even Zora princesses do their part; they can't do much, but they can weigh down switches like no other.

But to assemble a team, and on such short notice… I'd need a born leader. A man not afraid to take charge, a man that could give orders on a moments reflection, a man to stand in one spot day and night to guard our crime scene.

A man that I detested with every fibre of my being.

"Oh, look who it is! Can't you go baby-sit yourself for five minutes without running to me?" Milo sat before me, on the raised pedestal he kept in his house. Some of the Kokiri had a long-standing joke that Milo practiced giving orders from that thing every night, and I was beginning to see some truth in that.

"Spare me, Twig-Legs." I took out my badge and held it out. I always wondered what insane force of gravity made things float when I held them out to someone. I'll bet Zelda can't do that. I made a mental note to show it off to her later. "I need you to pull a team together to check out the murder scene. Have some people dust, have some dig around, keep a few running to buy the coffee. I need this ready ASAP, and don't think I won't put you in the slammer for impeding an investigation."

Milo huffed, staring at the badge with an unconvinced look. "You're going to threaten me with that paper thing?"

"This paper thing happens to be my detective badge, buddy. I'd watch what you say about it; it's a sign of the highest authority next to the Royal Family."

"It has "Private Eye" written in green crayon on it. You're expecting me to take it seriously?"

I sneered. "Either that, or I can always use Din's Fire on the Deku Tree."

"You wouldn't!" Milo began to shake slightly

Of course, it was a bluff. Even if I had wanted to, that gargantuan tree would require eight times my Magic Meter to burn completely, and I wasn't keen on climbing it to get at the upper branches. I figured Milo wouldn't take me on, though; he had been seen more than once standing under his branches, catching the falling leaves and trying to stick them back on. It was kind of sad… and creepy.

"Fine, fine!" Milo cracked like clockwork. "I'll get your damn team together."

"Glad to hear it." I tossed him a package. "If you find anything, call me using this."

He opened it up, and stared at me as though I were a beetle. "You must be joking me. You can't seriously expect me to do this."

I smiled with immense satisfaction, happily patting my badge. "I do. Just put in on and wait for a bit. I'll be checking in to a Gossip Stone every now and then for updates." I turned to leave, and then stopped. "Could I just make sure it fits before I go?"

If I could've seen Milo's eyes, they surely would've been twitching. Instead of voicing his disgust, he reached into the parcel, pulled out the Mask of Truth and slapped it onto his face, giving him the appearance of a one-eyed freakish clown.

"It looks perfect on you. I'm gone." I left the house and walked a few steps down the road, and then stopped. Up the hill directly across from Milo's house, a small hole lay in the large rock wall. I knew that, inside that hole, a small cavern held an empty chest, guarded still by a rolling boulder. I also knew that the Kokiri store would forever have an empty spot in its inventory, having once held a simple wooden shield.

I pondered for a moment. I certainly would've died on my previous journey without Milo's… "suggestion" to get a sword and shield. It was likely he had just wanted to help me, in his own demanding, rude and snotty way. I thought to myself, _maybe he didn't deserve that…_

A scream from Milo's house broke my thoughts. "WHAT IS THIS, SUPERGLUE?!" Several bumping noises were heard, followed by a terrified, anguished cry for help.

I whistled as I left the village. The glue dissolved quite easily, actually. A little milk from Bessie would take that mask right off. If he ever asked me, I'd certainly tell him what to do; getting hit by a boulder a couple times over would do it.


	4. Fairy Boy Meets Farm Girl

_I probably should've done this sooner, but I'll say it now:_

_WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! AND I MEAN BIG ONES! THE KIND THAT ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU WANNA HUNT ME DOWN AND KILL ME FOR RUINING YOUR OCARINA OF TIME EXPERIENCE! SORRY!_

_Just so we're in the clear. Lol_

_Lots of things to suggest MalonxLink in this one. He's such a player, our hero, ne? Well, that'll be the general idea with a good deal of the females in this story; they all want a piece of Link's Triforce, take it in what sense thou wilt._

_Enjoy!_

06:00 Day 1: Hyrule Field

The hike over to Lon Lon Ranch had never seemed so long before. I'm about ready to swear that this farm moves when I'm not looking. I had to spend the night in Hyrule Field, something I despise doing without Bunny Hood. Once the sun had set behind the ranch, the old Hyrule drawbridge had closed up, and I was stuck fending off Stalchildren until morning. I had forgotten how long night was without the Sun's Song.

But as the golden sun slowly rose above the trees and the Cuckoo signalled the arrival of morning, I was able to sheath my sword and leisurely make my way to Lon Lon Ranch. It was a comforting thought that, after I got Epona back, this would be the last god-awful night I'd have to spend in the boondocks.

---

06:30 Day 1: Lon Lon Ranch

I strolled into the ranch just as the animals had begun to stir from their sleep. A few of the horses had eased themselves in a light trot, stretching out their stiff limbs. The cuckoos hopped lazily around the horses, waiting for their morning meal. No one was in a big rush to do anything. This place had that effect on people; it wasn't hard to understand Talon's proneness to naps.

A familiar tune caught my ear. Its source; a small girl in the pasture, a shock of fiery red hair standing out against the soft green of the grass. A simple dress fell to her brown shoes, and her small hands were clasped in front of her ocean blue eyes. As she swayed to the slow beat of her tune, her eyes flickered for a moment and fell onto mine. She smiled and waved me into the pasture.

"Hey, Fairy Boy," Malon said, ceasing her song as I reached her, "Nice to see you around these parts again." She looked around. "Where's your cute little Navi?"

I thought for a moment. "Uh… away…" I figured I was going to have to describe the situation at least a hundred times over, so I'd spare it for those who needn't know. "Probably off annoying someone else."

Malon laughed a cute tinkling sound. "I don't suppose you just came to visit, did you?" I shook my head. "You've always been like that. Strictly business for Fairy Boy!" She puffed out her chest in what was supposed to be an imitation of me. Her voice tinkled again. "What can I do you for?"

I jerked my thumb at a red-brown horse with a white mane. "I need a better means of transportation that my own two feet, and I have the battle scars to prove it." I held out my badge. "Therefore, I'll be requesting the use of Epona for an undetermined amount of time."

Malon eyed me tauntingly. "The little slip of paper aside, I'd be happy to teach you Epona's Song again. She's been so lonely without you." Malon clasped her hands in front of her and raised an eyebrow at me. "You still got your ocarina?"

I nodded, digging into my pocket. I was almost disappointed when I pulled out the Fairy Ocarina instead of the sleek silver one I was used to. I remembered with a pang the last events of my previous adventure, when Zelda had used the Ocarina of Time to send me back to the past. That instrument held a lot of memories for me, and I felt strangely empty without it.

Plus, this wooden one gave me splinters.

Without too much difficulty, I quickly regained both my skill at the ocarina and my horse-summoning song. After testing it to make sure it still worked, I climbed atop my new companion and felt that familiar sense of freedom she gave me. As I revelled in this, I saw something over the gate that had never been there before.

I turned to the farm girl. "Tell me, Malon. What do you make of Navi, exactly?" She gave me an inquisitive look. "

Malon shrugged her shoulders. "Not quite sure what to say, really. I suppose she's a real pretty fairy. Smart, too, I reckon." She giggled.

My instincts told me I was on to something, but I'd need to get creative to find some more info. I went for some casual conversation. "So, what have you been up too recently?"

Malon shrugged. "Not much other than the usual."

I pointed over to the side wall. "What's that carriage over there for? I don't recall seeing it before."

She looked over to it. "That's the carriage we use to make milk deliveries."

"You made any deliveries recently?"

She shook her head. "Nope, not yet. I think we might be making one soon…" She faded off, seeming to think hard about something. She turned to me and smiled. "I gotta go feed the cuckoos, if you don't mind. You take care of her, now!" Malon ran off into the ranch.

I patted Epona's side. "Let's go see Talon, eh, girl?"

---

07:00 Day 1: Lon Lon Ranch

"W-W-WHAT-IN-?!" Talon awoke with his usual exclamation. I had found him inside the house, predictably sleeping with his Super Cuckoos. He rubbed his eyes and blearily stared at me. "Ah, Link, m'boy. What can I do you for?"

I held out my badge. "I'm on official Private Eye business here, Talon. I just stopped by to ask if you've seen any suspicious types around here."

Talon thought for a moment. "Well… not unless you count that Ingo."

I smirked. "Anyone else?"

"Nope, none." He folded his arms. "What's happened, Link?"

I sighed. "Someone's been murdered, Talon. I intend to find out who did it." The farmer exhaled deeply, sitting back down and putting a hand to his forehead. "Do you have anything that might help me?" He shook his head. I turned to observe the large storage room. It was bare. "Talon, aren't you making a delivery soon?"

He looked up at me. "Whaddya mean, boy?"

"Malon told me you were getting ready to deliver a shipment of milk. The carriage is all ready to go… Why is your storeroom empty?"

Talon gave me a confused look. "Malon told you that?" I nodded. "Why, we made a delivery two nights ago. To your home town, in fact. I haven't gotten around to puttin' that darned thing away, it's so heavy an' all."

"Is this true?" Talon nodded. I quickly wrote down some notes in my notebook. "Thanks, Talon. Contact me if something comes up."

I opened the door. He called out behind me. "You know, Link. I realise this may be a bad time, but my offer still stands!"

I turned to him and smiled. "Maybe, Talon. I'd like to wait a bit before I make such a decision like that."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I know. It's just that… she's been missin' you so much recently. I've bin catchin' her day an' night, daydreamin' 'bout you. I know you'd make her the happiest little girl in Hyrule." He patted my head. "You just keep that in mind before you go chasin' after them ladies."

I grinned. "Yeah…" I bade him goodbye, climbing onto Epona. I eased her out of the front arch and into the open field. Before taking off, however, I grimly made a note in my notebook:

_Malon of Lon Lon Ranch. 10. _

_Possible Motive: Suspect has expressed feelings for me. Jealousy of the victim's companionship is probable._

_Opportunity: Milk Delivery to Kokiri Forest at nightfall. Lied about said delivery._

_Means:..._

I flipped my book shut and rode off towards the castle drawbridge. Until Mido got some evidence for me, it would be hard to develop a good case against anyone. Nevertheless, as the Zora River came into view below the large wooden doorway into the Market, I felt a sad realisation form in the pit of my stomach. I had already vowed to find Navi's killer and bring that person to justice. I wasn't allowed to be prejudiced in anyway.

Even if the killer happened to be someone close to me, I would be the one to slam them into the dungeon, death a certainty.

---

_Uncharacteristicly dark? I'd say so. There won't be too many of those moments, thankfully._

_For those of you wondering, I honestly have no idea what age Malon or Link are. I always just imagined them to be 10. It just seems to work so perfectly, then he'd be 17 in older version. For those of you wanting to argue, tell me by your means of preference. I'd love to take you on XD_

_And so I end my belligerent challenge, due to the fact that I probably have half the fanfic population out for my hide... I guess the spoiler warning DID come too late..._

_Happy Reading (or Hunting)_


End file.
